Monday, October 27, 2014

That Magical October Sky - Halloweensie fun!

     I'm posting on Monday because--there's no perfect picture book Friday this week.
     Why not?
     Our picture book Friday host is BUSY!
     This is the fourth year that author Susanna Leonard Hill has offered writers the opportunity to win fantastic prizes in a Halloween story contest. It's called the Halloweensie contest because the story has to be for "wee ones." I wrote my story for the elementary set. And in addition to being for children, the story itself has to be a wee 100 words or less.
     Susanna ups the ante by requiring writers to use three specific words somewhere in the story. Broomstick, creak and pumpkin (or some variant of these words) are this year's special words.
     I enjoy the challenge of writing to Susanna's guidelines, and the fun of thinking up crazy scenarios to use her required three words. This year I came up with several stories and had to decide which to post!
     I've never written in rhyme before and so I hope you enjoy (and think that kids would enjoy!) my 93-word story, "That Magical October Sky."


      That Magical October Sky       

      Momma Mouse saw harvest moon.
Public domain image from pixabay (not my house!)
      Little Mouse saw pie.
      Momma Mouse said, “Come in soon!”
      Little Mouse said, “Why?”

      “It’s time for bed,” Momma warned.
      “Back soon!” said Little Mouse,
      Running toward the broomstick
      He’d left beside the house.

      The broomstick creaked and sputtered.
      Little Mouse took flight,
      Headed for a pumpkin treat
      Before he said goodnight.

      Past the trees,
     Through the stars,
     Little Mouse rose high,
     Aiming for the scrumptious shining pumpkin in the sky.


     The voyage was untested.
     The landing pad untried.
     Dropping to the orange orb,
     Little Mouse was pie-d.

     Thanks for stopping by to read. Comments are appreciated. (maybe editorial suggestions?!)
     Writers who are entering the contest have linked their stories to Susanna's blog. Head over if you'd like to read more. Last year there were more than seventy entries! I'm betting there will be a lot of great ones again this year.

61 comments:

  1. Pretty good for someone who hasn't written in rhyme before!

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    1. Thanks, Janet! I guess I should say I have written in rhyme in the privacy of my own home, but I've never let anyone else read it before. :)

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  2. I never sPied that ending coming! :)

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  3. This is adorable, Wendy! Beautifully written and so fun. Great job!

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    1. Thanks, Cheryl! I'm easily scared (really!) so I went for fun at Halloween.

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  4. Love the dialogue between the mother and her Little One, but also his/her spunk! Well done!

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    1. I think he will bring back and share some pie with Momma. If he recuperates from the crash/splash landing, lol.

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  5. Very fun! The ending is soooo cute! Love it!

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    1. Thanks, Penny. Coming from a rhyming pro that means a lot to me. :))

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  6. You had me after those first two lines. So cute!

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  7. Pumpkin Pie Surprise! So cute, Wendy!

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    1. I love to surprise my crit partners once in a while, lol.

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  8. Wonderfully written. Love that ending. ADORABLE!! The rhyme flows from one line to the next.

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    1. Thanks, Robyn. I know I varied the meter here and there, hoping it made it less singsong but it was all based on hope.

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  9. Oh that's fun. Nice job and good luck.

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    1. Thanks, Johnell! It was fun to write. :)

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    1. Ooh! I like that for a title. Mouse Pie. Wish I had thought of it.

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  11. Very clever. I love your opening. And I also love pie.

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    1. I love pie too! I've been practicing for Thanksgiving.

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  12. Loved your story. You had me with never tried rhyme before. I would never have guessed. You did perfect. :)

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    1. I've only had one other story "tell me" that it wanted to be in rhyme before-and that hasn't made it out of the drawer. It was fun to work in this style again.

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    1. I haven't had pumpkin pie yet this fall. I think my subconscious telling me something, lol.

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  14. So much fun. That Little Mouse was brave!

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake

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    1. Food is the great motivator, right cupcake!

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  15. Wendy - I love the wordplay in those first two stanzas. And what a cute idea - of course the moon looks like pie! Now that you've started rhyming though, you may find it hard to stop. :)

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    1. I rhyme around the house all the time. My kids would call them groaners. But this public thing is harder.

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  16. Wendy! So delightful! You've never written in rhyme before? I don't believe it! Little Mouse is so cute in his determination, and I love that his broomstick "sputtered" :) And now you've got me thinking about pie. Great idea :) Thanks so much for joining in the Halloweensie fun! :)

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    1. I believed those folks who said "don't write in rhyme!", Susanna. Still don't know if I'm brave enough. (I did write a haiku once for a blog! No rhyming though)

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  17. oh the adventures a broom could bring, little mouse surely had a big one.

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    1. It's fun to dream those big adventures. Off to find my broom . . .

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  18. This is wonderful, Wendy! I love the rhythm and rhymes, and the unexpected ending - great work! Maybe you should share your rhymes with the world more often!

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    1. Thanks, Carrie! It's so hard to un-hear that voice that says "Don't do that!"

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  19. Totally charmed and sold at the last line , what a fun pumpkin pie way to end the story !!! And yeah that mouse is tooooo cutteeeeee!!! I just remembered all those times when mama called and we said just be back to have our own adventures. Thanks for sharing! !

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    1. I like mice, too! Of course, I've never had one in my house. Thanks for stopping by, Rupali.

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  20. That is so creative Wendy, nice job! Food is a splendid subject.

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    1. I think about food a lot. Go, chocolate!

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  21. Did NOT see that coming. (Don't think Little Mouse did, either!) :-)

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    1. Ha! You're right about that, Cathy.

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  22. Hi Wendy, I love this contest and the opportunity it provides to try out things like rhyme. Your little mouse is as sweet and as daring as they come. Great entry.

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    1. I agree, Teresa! I don't think I would have been brave enough to start a rhyming picture book manuscript. But maybe my mouse will give me courage.

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  23. Great rhyming story! The ending is funny!

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    1. Thanks, Rachel! Glad you enjoyed it.

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  24. Very original and fab rhyme! Love little mouse.

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    1. Thanks, Kathy! Shooting for the moon. :)

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  25. Love the image of mousie on a broom--hope he recovers from his rough landing!

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    1. I'm hoping mice have good grip. Mamma mouse is too.

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  26. Very well written and full of imagery and action. Just like a kid, nothing is impossible. Did not see that ending coming.

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    1. Thanks, Pat! I like thinking nothing is impossible.

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  27. Fun AND funny. Very visual too.

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  28. Oh pie in the sky! I love it! And I love that your mouse is NOT from your house - LOL

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  29. I like the idea of a mouse-witch, and that he got what he wanted in the end (pie). Great job :)

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  30. What a fun adventure for a little mouse! Cute, Wendy. :)

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  31. Fun entry, and now I want pumpkin pie. :)

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  32. That was laugh out loud fun. Such a cute story, and wonderful rhyme, Wendy!

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  33. Cute! It's funny how more than one writer used the pumpkin in the moon for this contest. I LOVE the idea.

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